The UK borders have closed. There is no longer free travel in or out of the country and a tourist visa is granted only to travellers able to prove a bank account balance of 1 million pounds minimum.
London has been cordoned off by a “wealth belt” and only individuals with a proven bank balance of 5 million pounds are entitled to take up residence in the Capital.
Public transport fares have gone up by 150%.
Service industry workers do not qualify for London residence (seeing their earnings do not allow for savings of 5 million pounds), live beyond Zone 6 and cannot afford to travel to and from their jobs. Therefore, they live on their work premises. They receive the minimum hourly wage (£8 an hour), paid six months in arrears. All have to sign a Zero-Hour contract which stipulates that the employer does not guarantee them a fixed number of employment hours, while they must pledge to remain available, are forbidden from taking on any other job, and must give a year’s notice if they wish to leave.
The UK has left the European Union. Foreign languages are not taught in schools. Books translated from other languages are not available in UK bookshops. Foreign newspapers and magazines are not available at newsagents.
There is total freedom of speech, as long as it is in accordance with the Ministry for the Political Correctness and Inclusiveness of Language. In order to facilitate this, heavy fines are imposed on the public use of the following words and expressions:
– Happy Christmas
– Happy Easter
– “‘Bless you!” when anyone sneezes has been replaced with “Include you!”
Legal Aid has been abolished. So has the right to defence. Anyone arrested is assigned a defence lawyer only as the police and magistrate/crown court consider it appropriate.
Electricity, Gas, Water and Telecommunications are owned by off-shore companies. Users are legally obliged to take out a contract with these providers but only the said providers have a legal right to terminate these contracts.
It is illegal for anyone, including family members, to have any physical contact whatsoever with children under the age of 18. All essential physical contact (i.e. dressing, washing, feeding, first aid, as well as “emotional bonding time”) with under 18s is to be strictly carried out by a specially programmed robot approved by the Health and Safety Department.
All newborn babies are vaccinated with a quintuple all-purpose vaccine. Since this blanket vaccination programme, many viruses of childhood diseases have mutated into much more powerful forms that are difficult to treat. Therefore, the quintuple vaccine has to be repeated every two years, and its potency increased every time. Consequently, we are experiencing a new medical phenomenon: a generation born without an immune system.
All babies are microchipped and barcoded for their safety.
All telephone calls, e-mails, text messages, tweets and paper correspondence are recorded and stored under the Permanent Security Act.
All benefits have been abolished. Homelessness now affects 6 people out of 10 and is classified as a criminal offence under the new Keep the UK Wealthy Act. Anyone caught being homeless is arrested and tagged with an electronic device.
The UK is ruled by a mono-party system in which the Government is regularly reshuffled, thus abolishing the need and unnecessary expense of elections.